


The Moments We Shared

by ziallisreal



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 03:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3794356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziallisreal/pseuds/ziallisreal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Niall was always the loud and energetic kid, laughing and singing all the time, smiles shining like gold. Zayn tried so hard to find him obnoxious at first, since he had preferred those quieter kids, just like himself, staying in a corner reading or drawing and not making any noise. But that turned out to be what zayn missed about niall the most, what kept him awake in the middle of the night, eyes wide open. He remembered niall’s adorable irish accent, and those words he said, with a bright smile on his stupidly cute face which was a little too pale.<br/>-promise you will marry me when I grow up? Pleeeeeaaaase zaynie?<br/>-alright…alright baby. I promise.<br/>Or zayn worked as a volunteer in a local children’s hospital and met a kid with pretty blue eyes there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Moments We Shared

**Author's Note:**

> title from Jacoo's postrock song The Moments We Shared(it's beautiful...you should listen to it).

*i*

Zayn didn’t know if he could do the job well enough, because he was a little shy and reserved. But he loved the idea of helping kids in hospital, using what he learnt from the best art school in the whole country to do something for those little angels, or at least put a smile on their faces.

“Hello, my name is niall,” zayn found himself standing awkwardly in a ward, facing a skinny kid with a big adorable smile and a pair of bright blue eyes, probably 12 years old or so. He noticed the way the niall kid’s clothes were too loose for him and it looked almost ridiculous, yet in a rather cute way. ” What do I call you?” niall asked, and it was obvious that he was Irish judging from his thick accent.

“Zayn,” he answered, clutching on his color pencils tighter, not knowing exactly what he was supposed to do next. The kid seemed happy, too happy for someone in hospital. “So… niall, where are your parents? Why aren’t they here?” zayn realized it was a stupid question right away-it might make the kid upset. “Papa and mama need to work,” the niall kid answered nevertheless, blue eyes dimmed a little, but soon enough filled with light again. “Draw me a football please? I saw your drawing for Sean, it is awesome!”

“Wow,” zayn said, he couldn’t help smiling big, “thank you, you are a nice kid.”

This time, zayn caught niall flushing a bit, and he had to refrain himself from patting him gently on his messy, soft brown hair.

*i*

Actually, zayn had a good time. Niall dragged him to the playground after he finished drawing a black-and-white football with a tiny cartoon face; of course he was reluctant at first, yet he just couldn’t resist those innocent baby-blues.

“zayn,” niall was lying on the soft grass with zayn after they played football, eyes staring at the sky when a group of birds flew by. “I want to tell you something… a secret.” He turned his head to zayn, who turned to him at the same time. “I am too afraid to tell anyone else. Can I trust you?”

“Yeah,” zayn said, not thinking too much, since niall was just a child, and child doesn’t have “secrets”, or do they?

“I think I like boys,” he said sheepishly, voice low and soft, “I told mama once that I had a crush on Sean, but she said it was impossible and wrong,” zayn stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. “Is she right?”

Zayn thought about it for some time; he didn’t know how to explain, since this question was always not easy to answer. However, he felt it his responsibility to assure niall that his feelings were not wrong, that it was ok to like someone of the same gender, even when so many people would tell you it was wrong.

“She was the one in the wrong, niall. It is perfectly normal to have a crush on a boy. Why not?” he chew on his lips a little, “you know, I like boys too. It is ok. Love has no gender, anyway.”

“Thank you, zayn.” Niall smiled, almost blinding. “You will come visit me sometimes, will you?”

“of course,” zayn smiled too, “of course I will.”

*i*

Zayn had visited niall regularly the whole summer since the first time. He learnt that niall loved pizza, that he loved sports (but his activity was limited due to his physical condition) and had the habit of laughing out loud. By the end of summer, they had become good friends (if zayn caught niall staring a little bit, he wouldn’t tell). Zayn decided that niall was the cutest kid he had ever seen. Some of other kids were gone before summer ended, but it seemed that niall would not be soon discharged from the hospital.

He never got to ask about Niall’s disease though he had met his parents several times (and they liked him, he supposed), never really knowing what kept niall in that little ward, probably because zayn never had the guts to do so in fear of something too horrible for him to bear. It was niall, for god’s sake. His laughter was golden, and he deserved all the sunshine in the world, seriously. He couldn’t even imagine the possibility of niall being sick and suffering from pain – it’d kill him. So they never talk about the disease, pretending it didn’t exist.

*i*

It was the last time of zayn’s visit to the hospital, and this time niall looked paler than ever, lips chapped. His eyes were not shining as they usually did, and there was a hint of sadness in them. Zayn knew he was sad about him leaving for a whole semester, not being able to visit him any time soon until the next holiday. Zayn was sad too, and his heart would always grow fonder whenever niall was around. 

Niall was special, nothing like the other kids in hospital. They were lovely too of course, and fragile. But niall, he was like a little ball of sunshine with a heart of gold, delicate fair skin and soft brown hair. Zayn wish he met niall somewhere else, not in this monstrous, dull, scary place that was a hospital. It just didn’t feel right.

“You will go back to school soon right?” niall asked, not really looking at zayn, “I used to go to school you know, a lot of fun with all my friends. They are amazing. My best mates are harry and louis. They promised to visit me but their parents sent them to a summer camp or something. Anyway, it was great fun with you, too.” He finally looked up, cheeks reddened a little, “I’ve been thinking, um, like can I call you zaynie? I like to think up nicknames for my friends. Harry’s is Harold and louis poo bear, hahah.”

Zayn wanted to say, that is cute, you know I will let you call me whatever you want to. Instead, he just nodded with a smile too fond.

“and… I think i like you a lot zaynie,” niall said, voice more serious than ever. “what do you think? You like me back?”

Zayn was speechless for a moment, just kept staring into those blue eyes. He looked so young, so beautiful, and zayn couldn’t think of any reason to not love him.“niall, of course I like you back,” he said, ”just… not in that way; probably someday, but not now.”

Niall was confused, brows knitted together like a lost puppy. “not in ‘that’ way? What does it mean?” Zayn sighed, trying hard to explain, “when you grow up, you will understand what I mean. Just remember I like you a lot too alright? I promise I will come back the next time I take a break.”

“But I want to marry you! I… I want to be with you forever,” niall suddenly cried out, eyes big and a little moist, “promise you will marry me when I grow up? Pleeeeeaaaase zaynie? ” It was almost painful to see those baby-blues containing so much sorrow and desperation.

“alright…alright baby. I promise.” zayn heard himself say.

*i*

Zayn returned to the hospital the last summer; he didn’t forget niall, but too many things prevented him from coming back to him. Sometimes he thought about his promise to niall, and it felt like a dream too real.

Yet he was met with an empty bed, niall nowhere to be found. A nurse recognized him and handed him an envelope, with two words “to zaynie” neatly written on it.

“The kid had a rare heart trouble, incurable. He suffered much pain from time to time, but he was always happier when you were with him.” The nurse told him, ”he asked us about you several times before he…you know,” she stopped shortly, as if trying to contain her emotion. ”Then we called you, but you were always busy with your school, so he just stopped asking.”

Zayn couldn’t see anything clearly, not when his tears were threatening to fall down.

“He wrote you this letter.” Zayn unfolded the letter as soon as he got back home: it was simple. Niall’s handwriting looked much like he himself, round and cute, happy and genuine in nature. Zayn missed his smile, his blue eyes, his adorable laughter, his everything.

But he lost everything about niall now; he thought maybe one day, when niall grew up, he would have it all finally, because they made a promise to marry each other, and he meant it; he knew he would not eat his words. No, he would never do that.

*i*

_Dear zaynie,_

_I like you a lot, and I remember you said you like me back.I just really want to see you… I miss you so much._

_Ps: Don’t forget our promise! XX._

_Yours, Nialler_

The end

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for any errors. it is my first ever English fic and it is not completely what i planned in my own head *sigh*.  
> title from Jacoo The Moments We Shared.


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